My husband and I enjoy our Saturday morning ritual of reading the local paper over a cappuccino out in the cbd. When we came across this article in "The Border Mail", I practically squealed in delight. Not that it is especially good news, in fact, it's quite an awful experience. But I was pleased that finally, we were talking about some real issues for young parents.
You see, Wodonga has become known as the Teen-Mum Capital since 'Today Tonight' reported the trend in 2011.
Facts are facts, I have no qualm with that. We do indeed have a high number of teenage parents in the region. But what do these reports really do? Promote a need for Wodonga to have better support services for pregnant teenagers and their families? Encourage people to take a serious look at what may be contributing factors into the rising number of young people engaging in sexual activities?
There is one thing I have observed come out of this 'Teen-Mum Capital' title: stigma.
We all like to believe that we're open minded and accepting of others. And you would think that a community with a large number of young mothers would be accommodating. However, the article from Saturday's The Border Mail paints a very different picture; one where older women and mothers snub young ones, leaving them feeling alienated and alone.
As though that was not bad enough, this morning I opened the paper's website and noticed the comments on the article. And good golly, did my blood start to boil.
One states: " Perhaps the 'other' mothers were older and had made a decent contribution to society before deciding to have children, set themselves up financially to care for their children rather then relying on Government payments forever" ('Mick from Eastern Circus')
Well. There's a broad, presumptuous generalisation if I ever saw one. Still, you hear it often.
Another says: "Why should I have to put up with unwed teenage mothers. It's my time and I choose to spend it with people that have the same ethics, morals and education that I do. And if I want to walk off and not speak to an unwed single teenage mum I will. It's still a free country." ('Cherylp')
Because we can all tell what one's ethics, morals and education are purely from one's circumstances, can't we? Plus, I believe this person has just won Most Prejudiced Rude Person of the Year.
And then there was this: "I'm seeing a bit of this "older women MUST have respect blah blah blah" being demanded, without any reason WHY. other than "it just should, because I'm the same as you" No. You're not. That's the whole point". ('Peaches')
...I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Let me give you a little insight into why I'm so passionate about this issue.
I just turned twenty-three last week. My daughter, Boo, is not far off turning four. Now, if you did your maths correctly, you would have realised that I gave birth to her at the age of nineteen. And yes, that would mean that I fell pregnant at the age of eighteen.
I completed VCE the year before, and had continued on to study Event Management. I discovered I was pregnant after I had broken up with the boy I had been with for two years previously, and we decided not to get back together.
Of course, my parents weren't exactly thrilled. But they were more supportive than you could ever imagine. I continued to study, changing career path into community services. I attempted to return to work, but that didn't suit.
In 2012, I had managed my own household with my daughter for over a year. I completed my Certificate IV of Youth Work (which included 200 hours work placement). I was a participant and graduated from the Wodonga City Council Youth Leadership Program. I got married. I started on my Diploma of Youth Work, which I'm now chipping away at - as well as being a full time housewife and mother, volunteering weekly and expecting the next addition to our family.
I know young mums who are at university. Young mums who work. Young mums who do both. Young mums who choose to stay at home to raise their children. I know young mums who sacrifice their social life, put their careers on hold - just like any other mother. I know amazing young mums.
You can't paint us all with the same brush (and yet, I guarantee you that we have all felt looked down on by others at one point or another).
And you know what? That's not even the point. People come from all different walks of life. People are going to have been raised differently to you, come from different socio-economic backgrounds to you. People have different interests, engage in different activities. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with - what gives you the right to judge someone because they made different life choices to you?
And really, this is what it comes down to: When did you become sexually active? If you, like so many others started experimenting, or even simply entering intimate relationsips while under the age of 25 - it could have been you.
I have made more than my share of mistakes in my adolescence- and I assure you, having my daughter was not one of them.
If you are so opposed to young parents, why not do something? Advocate for better sex education, the availability of health services and contraception to young people. Look at how we as a community can better support our youth - give them somewhere to go, something to do, people to talk to.
Or, better yet, take five minutes to break out of your little bubble to have a chat to one of these young people. You never know, you might even find something in common.
All new parents need support, and young parents are no different. My mother tells me "it takes a community to raise a child", and that is what we should be doing. Collaborating our knowledge and resources as older parents, and people, in the community to support people in need - from all walks of life. How does filling our community with such toxic attitudes come of any good?
Facts are facts, I have no qualm with that. We do indeed have a high number of teenage parents in the region. But what do these reports really do? Promote a need for Wodonga to have better support services for pregnant teenagers and their families? Encourage people to take a serious look at what may be contributing factors into the rising number of young people engaging in sexual activities?
There is one thing I have observed come out of this 'Teen-Mum Capital' title: stigma.
We all like to believe that we're open minded and accepting of others. And you would think that a community with a large number of young mothers would be accommodating. However, the article from Saturday's The Border Mail paints a very different picture; one where older women and mothers snub young ones, leaving them feeling alienated and alone.
As though that was not bad enough, this morning I opened the paper's website and noticed the comments on the article. And good golly, did my blood start to boil.
One states: " Perhaps the 'other' mothers were older and had made a decent contribution to society before deciding to have children, set themselves up financially to care for their children rather then relying on Government payments forever" ('Mick from Eastern Circus')
Well. There's a broad, presumptuous generalisation if I ever saw one. Still, you hear it often.
Another says: "Why should I have to put up with unwed teenage mothers. It's my time and I choose to spend it with people that have the same ethics, morals and education that I do. And if I want to walk off and not speak to an unwed single teenage mum I will. It's still a free country." ('Cherylp')
Because we can all tell what one's ethics, morals and education are purely from one's circumstances, can't we? Plus, I believe this person has just won Most Prejudiced Rude Person of the Year.
And then there was this: "I'm seeing a bit of this "older women MUST have respect blah blah blah" being demanded, without any reason WHY. other than "it just should, because I'm the same as you" No. You're not. That's the whole point". ('Peaches')
...I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Let me give you a little insight into why I'm so passionate about this issue.
I just turned twenty-three last week. My daughter, Boo, is not far off turning four. Now, if you did your maths correctly, you would have realised that I gave birth to her at the age of nineteen. And yes, that would mean that I fell pregnant at the age of eighteen.
I completed VCE the year before, and had continued on to study Event Management. I discovered I was pregnant after I had broken up with the boy I had been with for two years previously, and we decided not to get back together.
Of course, my parents weren't exactly thrilled. But they were more supportive than you could ever imagine. I continued to study, changing career path into community services. I attempted to return to work, but that didn't suit.
In 2012, I had managed my own household with my daughter for over a year. I completed my Certificate IV of Youth Work (which included 200 hours work placement). I was a participant and graduated from the Wodonga City Council Youth Leadership Program. I got married. I started on my Diploma of Youth Work, which I'm now chipping away at - as well as being a full time housewife and mother, volunteering weekly and expecting the next addition to our family.
I know young mums who are at university. Young mums who work. Young mums who do both. Young mums who choose to stay at home to raise their children. I know young mums who sacrifice their social life, put their careers on hold - just like any other mother. I know amazing young mums.
You can't paint us all with the same brush (and yet, I guarantee you that we have all felt looked down on by others at one point or another).
And you know what? That's not even the point. People come from all different walks of life. People are going to have been raised differently to you, come from different socio-economic backgrounds to you. People have different interests, engage in different activities. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with - what gives you the right to judge someone because they made different life choices to you?
And really, this is what it comes down to: When did you become sexually active? If you, like so many others started experimenting, or even simply entering intimate relationsips while under the age of 25 - it could have been you.
I have made more than my share of mistakes in my adolescence- and I assure you, having my daughter was not one of them.
If you are so opposed to young parents, why not do something? Advocate for better sex education, the availability of health services and contraception to young people. Look at how we as a community can better support our youth - give them somewhere to go, something to do, people to talk to.
Or, better yet, take five minutes to break out of your little bubble to have a chat to one of these young people. You never know, you might even find something in common.
All new parents need support, and young parents are no different. My mother tells me "it takes a community to raise a child", and that is what we should be doing. Collaborating our knowledge and resources as older parents, and people, in the community to support people in need - from all walks of life. How does filling our community with such toxic attitudes come of any good?
The last thing I care to say is this: even if you do still strongly believe that young parents are "wrong", a burden on society or something that offends you so much - nothing prevents you from simply being polite. After all, I thought that's what "older generations" prided themselves on - the fact that they 'have common courtesy'. That's all these young parents are asking.
