Oh, Hi There.

Hello, world. It's been awhile.

I've finally made the conscious decision to come out of hibernation and get back into life. It's actually more of a hassle than it sounds, but surely it's worth it. While in lock-down, I've been missing my friends. I've missed writing and crocheting. I've missed planning, dreaming and scheming.

Ash has settled into a vague routine, Boo is as compliant as a fiery four year old can be, and I'm generally caffeinated enough to function effectively. I think it's time to get out of my metaphorical pajamas, and put on a flowing hippy dress to dance around the campfire of an active and fulfilling life in.

So, bring on playgroup and coffee dates, blogging and projects, crocheting and craft, (...perhaps a tiny bit of study) - and above all, extreme housewifery.
Hey, I need to make what I do sound exciting somehow.

Take care, and I hope to catch up with you sooon!

Introducing: Pacman!

Why, hello there.

So I seemingly fell off the face of the Earth during the last couple of months or so. I had every intention to blog, continue projects and catch up with people. However, being heavily pregnant and therefore one mega moody whale of a woman, I let a lot of things slide - first to go was any interactions with the outside world.

But! We are here now, and there is someone I'd like you to meet.

PACMAN.

Who will be known as "Ash" from now on.

Side note: I don't believe I ever told you why he had the nickname of 'Pacman' in the first place. One night at the dinner table, Boo was interrogating Benji and I over details of how the whole baby thing works. One gem she said was "is it in your tummy floating around and eating all of the foods?" and he has been Pacman ever since.

First of all, let me just say: yes. Child birth really is THAT painful. I don't know how I managed to forget that. Don't let me fool myself into believing otherwise again, internet, no matter how cute my kid is.

Ash is just two weeks old now and we're all adjusting well. This past fortnight has been one incredible, beautiful, emotional blur full of lessons and blessings.  We have had such amazing support through this transition time, and I can't express my appreciation enough. I would just like to take a second to say a very special thank you to my parents for having Boo both before and after Ash came about, and to the lovely people from church who have been so kind and generous to drop meals around. Absolutely blown away by how thoughtful people are.

Boo is doing really well, and enjoys being a big sister (...most of the time). One darling thing she does is sings "Hey Diddle Diddle" when the baby cries. Apparently her voice is magic or something and will soothe him. It worked once. However, the more Ash is around and cries, the tireder and more exasperated the song sounds. She really is beautiful with him though. 

This guy has been amazing. One proud father and an absolute natural. Benji has spent the past two weeks at home with Boo, Ash and I, and honestly, I could not have asked for a more helpful, supportive partner. I could gush on about this guy for hours, but I will just leave it with this: I am so unbelievably lucky, and thankful, to have such a wonderful, loving husband.

As for me: I'm exhausted! However, surviving each day as it comes and finding blessings among the chaos. Being a mother-of-two is time consuming and mentally draining, and I've been a little concerned about how I'm going to manage when Benji returns to work this week. Yet, I do love life at the moment, and am starting to view each day simply as a challenge to get on top of. 

I'm going to leave this here as it is far too early and I am under-caffeinated. I'm hoping to post more often in the future - just in case you were starting to miss photos of crochet items and cake!

Have a beautiful day xx

Hey Mum - I Get It Now

Mother's Day is just around the corner. It's not something that is heavily celebrated in my family; really, being appreciative of your mother is something that should probably be displayed daily.

I started composing a little list in my mind this morning. In the same vein as mothers day, I'd like to dedicate it to my mother.

Stuff That Drives Me Crazy (That I Just Realised My Mother Probably Had To Put Up With Too)

1. Being yelled at from the other end of the house. 
2. Having to share my shower.
3. Being yelled at from the other end of the house on the rare occasion I do get to shower on my own.
4. Planning something you're so sure your child will enjoy, and on that particular day they show no interest in the activity at all.
5. Answering the same question fifty billion times in five minutes.
6. Answering the same question fifty billion times all over again ten minutes later.
7. The child enjoying food prepared one way, but detesting it another. i.e. corn on the cob vs loose. Potatoes cut up to look like chips vs. potato any other way.
8. Having to look after everyone in the house when they're sick. But when I am sick, a) there is no one to look after me and b) I still have to look after everyone else.
9. My child choosing to ask for something to eat every time I go to the bathroom. Seriously kid, I'm trying to pee.
10. Stalling at bed time.
11. Procrastinating in the morning over getting ready, when the child knows that after they get ready, they can have/do something they want.
12. The fact that we are so very particular about how certain things have to be, yet we are incapable of tidying up our playthings.
13. The fact that 99% of my "coffee dates" with friends now end up in a toy department so we can finish our conversation.
14. Being out of routine means the world is close to ending.
15. The fact that I actually spend my spare time thinking these lists up.

So, thanks mum for putting up with this nonsense from my siblings and I. 

I get it now, we really were pains in the butt.

Hello, Reality.

Most of the time, it is all too easy to keep on The Face. You know the one - The Mother Face.
The face that says "Hi, I'm a parent and I handle everything super well and everything is wonderful and I'm amazing at life".

Today is not one of those days.

I woke up this morning with big storm clouds swirling around in my head. I can't remember the last time I got a decent nights sleep - pretty sure I was awake every two hours last night. My house is a disaster zone, I haven't been on top of housework all week. I have a to-do list a mile long, and half the things on that list are half-planned and confusing. I have two assessments to start. I feel like I'm not spending enough time engaging with Boo. I haven't been looking after myself well lately.

Life is starting to spiral out of control and I am struggling to get it together.

I'm stressed, tense, anxious and starting to show my warning signs of a relapse into depression.

I am far from functioning well.

So why am I posting this?

I'm not after sympathy. I'm not even really whinging and moaning about life. And I'm certainly not after any kind of help. In fact, I already have a management plan ready to go.

A lot of the time I feel there is so much pressure on mothers to appear to function perfectly.To be the best mother. The best housekeeper. To work or study or both, and to thrive. To have a social life. To balance it all perfectly. And so that's what we show the world.

Who does all this pressure come from? Good Question. Probably everywhere - other mums, media, etc etc etc. But mostly - I think it comes from ourselves.

No one really wants to admit that they struggle being a parent; apparently it implies that we fail. But that also means that we're carrying a lot of the internal struggle alone. What point is there in that, when the vast majority of us go through the same things?

It's so easy to filter ourselves - both in person and online. I believe in being honest and real with people. It is so important to acknowledge that we have our bad days too. We can't be perfect all of the time. Even half of the time. Or any of the time. And we should support each other to realise that and give ourselves a break.

Today, I suck at life. And that's okay.

'It Takes A Community To Raise A Child'

I haven't exactly got this blogging project rolling, one might argue that I have no idea what I'm doing (and they'd be right). However, there are some things I really can't keep my mouth shut about. Young mums are one of them.

My husband and I enjoy our Saturday morning ritual of reading the local paper over a cappuccino out in the cbd. When we came across this article in "The Border Mail", I practically squealed in delight. Not that it is especially good news, in fact, it's quite an awful experience. But I was pleased that finally, we were talking about some real issues for young parents.

You see, Wodonga has become known as the Teen-Mum Capital since 'Today Tonight' reported the trend in 2011.

Facts are facts, I have no qualm with that. We do indeed have a high number of teenage parents in the region. But what do these reports really do?  Promote a need for Wodonga to have better support services for pregnant teenagers and their families? Encourage people to take a serious look at what may be contributing factors into the rising number of young people engaging in sexual activities?

There is one thing I have observed come out of this 'Teen-Mum Capital' title: stigma.

We all like to believe that we're open minded and accepting of others. And you would think that a community with a large number of young mothers would be accommodating. However, the article from Saturday's The Border Mail paints a very different picture; one where older women and mothers snub young ones, leaving them feeling alienated and alone.

As though that was not bad enough, this morning I opened the paper's website and noticed the comments on the article. And good golly, did my blood start to boil.

One states: " Perhaps the 'other' mothers were older and had made a decent contribution to society before deciding to have children, set themselves up financially to care for their children rather then relying on Government payments forever" ('Mick from Eastern Circus')

Well. There's a broad, presumptuous generalisation if I ever saw one. Still, you hear it often.

Another says: "Why should I have to put up with unwed teenage mothers. It's my time and I choose to spend it with people that have the same ethics, morals and education that I do. And if I want to walk off and not speak to an unwed single teenage mum I will. It's still a free country." ('Cherylp')

Because we can all tell what one's ethics, morals and education are purely from one's circumstances, can't we? Plus, I believe this person has just won Most Prejudiced Rude Person of the Year.

And then there was this: "I'm seeing a bit of this "older women MUST have respect blah blah blah" being demanded, without any reason WHY. other than "it just should, because I'm the same as you" No. You're not. That's the whole point". ('Peaches')

...I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Let me give you a little insight into why I'm so passionate about this issue.

I just turned twenty-three last week. My daughter, Boo, is not far off turning four. Now, if you did your maths correctly, you would have realised that I gave birth to her at the age of nineteen. And yes, that would mean that I fell pregnant at the age of eighteen.
I completed VCE the year before, and had continued on to study Event Management. I discovered I was pregnant after I had broken up with the boy I had been with for two years previously, and we decided not to get back together.
Of course, my parents weren't exactly thrilled. But they were more supportive than you could ever imagine. I continued to study, changing career path into community services. I attempted to return to work, but that didn't suit.

In 2012, I had managed my own household with my daughter for over a year. I completed my Certificate IV of Youth Work (which included 200 hours work placement). I was a participant and graduated from the Wodonga City Council Youth Leadership Program. I got married. I started on my Diploma of Youth Work, which I'm now chipping away at - as well as being a full time housewife and mother, volunteering weekly and expecting the next addition to our family.

I know young mums who are at university. Young mums who work. Young mums who do both. Young mums who choose to stay at home to raise their children. I know young mums who sacrifice their social life, put their careers on hold - just like any other mother. I know amazing young mums.

You can't paint us all with the same brush (and yet, I guarantee you that we have all felt looked down on by others at one point or another).

And you know what? That's not even the point. People come from all different walks of life. People are going to have been raised differently to you, come from different socio-economic backgrounds to you. People have different interests, engage in different activities. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with - what gives you the right to judge someone because they made different life choices to you?

And really, this is what it comes down to: When did you become sexually active? If you, like so many others started experimenting, or even simply entering intimate relationsips while under the age of 25 - it could have been you.

I have made more than my share of mistakes in my adolescence- and I assure you, having my daughter was not one of them.

If you are so opposed to young parents, why not do something? Advocate for better sex education, the availability of health services and contraception to young people. Look at how we as a community can better support our youth - give them somewhere to go, something to do, people to talk to.
Or, better yet, take five minutes to break out of your little bubble to have a chat to one of these young people. You never know, you might even find something in common.

All new parents need support, and young parents are no different. My mother tells me "it takes a community to raise a child", and that is what we should be doing. Collaborating our knowledge and resources as older parents, and people, in the community to support people in need - from all walks of life. How does filling our community with such toxic attitudes come of any good?

The last thing I care to say is this: even if you do still strongly believe that young parents are "wrong", a burden on society or something that offends you so much - nothing prevents you from simply being polite. After all, I thought that's what "older generations" prided themselves on - the fact that they 'have common courtesy'. That's all these young parents are asking.