What Am I Doing?

I'm frustrated.

And not the kind of frustrated you can punch out at the gym, or resolve at the bottom of a pile of cookies.

It's the miserable, never-ending, irritating frustration that comes with yet another wave of unsettlement; summed up in the question "what even am I doing?"

I think it all the time. I even say it to my husband, sometimes exchanging the "I" for "we". Which must be baffling for him at the times I don't especially feel like giving him any context.

The obvious answers are obvious. I'm doing my housewifey duty by doing housewifey things. I'm studying. I'm raising Boo and baking another time-consuming creature to love full-time.

Clearly, the question is confusingly rhetorical.

The real answer is: not enough.

I feel like I have lost a little part of me this year, and that I have so much more to give. Last year I had opportunities of leadership and volunteering. I had ideas and projects that I never explored or made a start on. I had passion, motivation, inspiration.

Where did that go?

I decided this year that I would read/watch/look at something that inspired me every day. I slacked off on that after day one. Time to start soul-searching again. Perhaps I will explore this with you here, sharing something each day that inspires me. Just for a week.

So. I would love to hear from you. What inspires you? What's your passion? You're more than welcome to comment and share.

I would usually like to have something meaningful in here to wrap things up with. Something profound or whatever to tie it all together nicely.

 But I have absolutely nothing.

So instead, here's a video of Billie Joe Armstrong with his dog.